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Thank you for your interest in the SPONGE Historian Network. Please fill out the application below. Once submitted, the application will be reviewed. If you meet certain criteria, you will be asked to take the Historian Exam. If you pass the exam, you will be allowed to register with SPONGE as an official Historian. It seems like a lot, we know, but when the safety of the world is concerned, jumping through these few hoops is not much in the grand scheme of things. Name: Just your last name. This will make it easier on us, in case you aren't around anymore, all of a sudden. You may use an alias, if you prefer. E-mail: Otherwise, we can't contact you for step two of your registration. How I heard about SPONGE check one: Ad in Arkham Advertiser Ad in Arkham Gazette Ad in Innsmouth Courier Ad in Paranoia Monthly Ad in Saucerian Press Downloaded Dr. Bustoffson's PSA on Gnutella Flyers hanging up in University Found a note saying I should join Had a hideous dream about smothering Markings in the corn field Matrin Taylor sent me Obituaries Referred by Immortal Goat Society Saw some guy wearing a SPONGE T-Shirt SciFi Channel Strange flashing lights Subliminal messages from Blockbuster rentals Telepathy The angles of my room made me aware The stars were in alignment The word "SPONGE" appeared in my Alpha-Bits Took a class with Dr. Bustoffson Was saved by SPONGE from interdimensional creature Whispering voices told me A loved one was a former Historian A SPONGE bumper sticker sparked my curiousity alt.horror.cthulhu H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival Munchkins Cruise Net Search on "Bedcams" Spammed by someone in the Historian Network The Creamery Top 100 Cthulhu Mythos Sites www.shoggoth.net Yog-Sothoth website In the event of my demise— I prefer my physical remains to be: Buried Cremated Stuffed Left where I was found I have seen: Pumpkinhead The Piano Both Neither E-mail Address of Referring Historian: Personal Information: Date of Birth: (YYYY-MM-DD) ie 1977-01-24 Best Bowling score: Virgin: Yes No Sex: Male Female Handedness: Right Left Ambidextrous Mother's maiden name: Known Allergies: Unaided vision: Rate your following characteristics: Tolerance: Low High Sticktuitiveness: Low High Chutzpah: Low High Firearm Competency: Low High Rationality: Low High Adroitness: Low High Intuition: Low High Concetto: Low High Libido: Low High Appetite: Low High Style: Low High Insurance: Known Phobias: Religion: Asatru Atheism/Agnosticism/Humanism Baal Baha'i Faith Caodaism Catholicism Confucianism Damanhur Community Discordian Druidism Druse Eckankar Elian Gonzalez Religious Movement Falun Dafa and Falun Gong Gnosticism Goddess Worship Goths Hare Krishna Hindu I prefer not to answer, my god would be angry Ifa Ismism Jainism Judaism Native American Spirituality Neo-Agnostic Zentoddism Other Buddhism Other Judeo-Christian Other Muslim Pantheism Protestantism Religion based on Fiction (ie Cult of Celebrity) Rom/Roma/Romani/Rroma Santeria Satanism Shinto Sikhism Spearmintism Sufism Sunni Muslim Taoism Theravedan Buddhism Unitarian-Universalism Vodun Wicca Zoroastrianism Essay Questions -Limit answers to 25 words or less. In fact, less is more. Often as an historian you will not have the sufficient time to explain yourself. Short bursts of dialogue may also be necessary between gunshots and/or screams. -Please edit yourself for content. Other people may read these applications, including but not limited to purveyors of the occult, and Kilroy's grandmother. Please write a paragraph regarding your thoughts on the following topics: How much you trust your government. What really goes on in "uninhabited forests". Possible applications of Hyperspace Theory: List all known relatives in Arkham area (especially Innsmouth and Dunwich): Translate the following Aramaic Tongue Twister: Battatna battat baten battatkom, tegdar battatkom etbot baten battatna methel ma battatna battat baten battetkom. Now, tell us a little bit about yourself. In addition to being reviewed for consideration of your application, this will (if you choose) be made available to other registered historians, so think of it as your "Bio". Hint: Talk about yourself in the third person. It will look better in the files. Submit this historian Note: Multiple submissions will be treated as evidence of multiple personalities.